togophonebook Chapter 16: Hell is a bit too urbanized.
Chapter 16: Hell is a bit too urbanized.
"Experience the atheist's nightmare—the banana!"
Joey was devastated, not because he was at a gathering of believers, but because of the stupidity of the gathering.
To be fair, even in his previous life, when he hadn't experienced such bizarre events as resurrection, Joey's attitude towards this thing was quite open. He didn't believe in it, but rather acknowledged its plausibility.
Since the feudal era, there has been a very limited number of political entities that have established a viable bureaucratic administrative system to exercise their power, and power has never existed in a vacuum.
Therefore, for the vast majority of feudal rulers, this was a very suitable tool for conscripting soldiers and collecting taxes, and over the years it has become what it is today.
For ordinary people, it's not entirely meaningless. Although the core idea of this thing is to find a way to take money out of your pocket, the emotional comfort it provides in the early stages is also real.
Just one bad day is enough to break down most people's seemingly strong mental defenses, and at that moment, anything can take advantage of the vulnerability.
But Joey didn't think a banana would turn someone from an atheist into a creationist.
The pastor sitting next to me was holding a banana and earnestly arguing that bananas are God's creation rather than a product of natural evolution.
The specific arguments include how the shape of a banana perfectly matches the shape of a person's hand when it's loosely held, how it's easy to open like a can, and how the diameter of a banana is exactly the size of a person's mouth, etc.
Joey was barely holding back, especially seeing the group of people below listening with such fascination; his inner monologue was a tirade of frustration:
Because bananas, a sweet and delicious fruit, are not a product of natural evolution, you idiots!
When will there be another major outbreak of fungal leaf blight, leaving everyone with only raw bananas full of coarse starch and seeds to eat? Then these people will finally behave themselves.
Walter told me to come over, sit there, keep smiling, wait for the pastor to finish his sermon, and then leave. My sister said she would have to endure mental anguish as well.
"...In conclusion, the entire concept behind the creation of bananas proves the genius of the Creator."
Thank goodness, Joey didn't care when Raven would arrive. He just wanted to escape. He didn't know if he had superhuman intelligence, but if he stayed any longer, he would soon be assimilated into a super idiot.
To his utter surprise, the old pastor beside him placed his hand on his shoulder, ignoring his threatening gaze, and quietly pushed a manuscript towards him:
"Now, let's welcome 'Superman,' the Son of God from Kansas, to tell us about the miracles of the Creator!"
Perhaps this old man, Bitden, thought that as a newcomer to the Water Company, he wouldn't have the nerve, or the courage, to disregard the church's feelings and read through this article that was meant to deceive fools.
Watching others fool fools is one thing, but personally engaging in the deception is quite another.
If Joey really wanted to make a living by fooling idiots, he could have chosen to be like most of his colleagues in his past life, sitting in an air-conditioned office, collecting netizens' opinions and fabricating news every day. Why bother applying for a field assignment and then going to the battlefield to get shelled?
"Alright, friends, it's time to teach you about the origin of bananas."
Joey glanced at the even more anti-intellectual essay than his previous banana argument. Anyone who could read it aloud without laughing was practically a master of the "don't laugh" challenge, so he chose not to read it.
"The bananas you're talking about have absolutely no connection to the Creator; they're just hybrids. Stop using these genetically flawed artificial varieties to show off your superiority."
The crowd below stirred slightly, and the assistant's expression changed, but Joey didn't care. In fact, he was preparing to leave for Africa immediately to pick a local wild banana.
If anyone dares to object to me in a moment, I'll immediately shove that thing into their anus and let them know what a creation of natural evolution is all about.
.....
"Isn't it interesting?"
As soon as Joey took off, he discovered that the raven was already waiting for him in the clouds.
"You insisted on bringing me here just to see me make a fool of myself?!"
Joey was quite annoyed. His time was very valuable; he spent every day researching magic and would try to avoid any work assigned to him by the Vought Corporation. Who knew he would be tricked into coming here to insult his intelligence?
"No, I came here to show you just how stupid people can be."
"Are you out of your mind?!"
Raven's answer infuriated Joey:
"Are you going to start giving me a long lecture about how I should lead and protect them?"
No matter how many times I've said it, he's not a god with humanity like Clark Kent, and he can't be a friendly neighbor like Spider-Man.
If he truly wanted to help humanity and improve the lives of all humankind, why didn't he try to unify the world, create the Astartes Chapter, and launch a great expedition directly beyond the solar system?
Joey has more important things to do now.
"Because they believed in creationism from the beginning, they would believe it even if a pastor was holding a banana and saying such absurd things."
Raven pointed at Joey, as if instantly understanding Joey's inner thoughts:
"And because you've been delusional about resurrecting your parents from the very beginning, you've treated every bizarre piece of information that Storm Woman gave you as a lifeline. You're no different in essence from those who believe in bananas..."
boom!
Joey's punch shattered all the clouds to the left of Raven, interrupting Raven's critique.
Would the raven possibly lie to me? I have no conflict of interest with her, so it's unlikely.
Is Raven's statement about the dead not being able to come back to life correct? As the daughter of Sannomiya and one of the most powerful spellcasters in the DC Universe, she should be correct.
Joey could come to the above two conclusions without even thinking, but he always felt that there must be other ways.
"There was no other way. The hellfire annihilated their last vestige of existence in this world. Even the most powerful resurrection ritual could not work in this state."
What Raven was worried about was not just a stubborn Superman, but the impending invasion of Hell.
Most of his brothers and sisters from hell are masters of manipulation. The superheroes of this world may not help him, but he cannot be tempted and fall into the hands of [Sangoku].
A Superman controlled by the Hell dimension would be catastrophic for himself, for this universe, and for other neighboring universes.
"I'm sorry, Superman. But that's the truth."
Raven could now sense the turmoil raging within the Kryptonian's inner world, but she would no longer indulge him in such matters.
"You can choose not to shoulder the responsibilities of being Superman, but if you continue to be this fragile, when Hell invades, I'll throw you into another universe first, so you won't hold me back."
Raven didn't have to confront the army of hell head-on in this world; she could have just kept running. But the death of [Rage] in this world made everything uncontrollable.
Whether [Rage] lives or dies in the end, her father will definitely find this place and reclaim the power that belongs to him.
The raven couldn't just walk away and let the universe be dragged into the hell dimension because of its mistake.
Raven's series of questions left Joey speechless.
The truth is that although he has taken on the title of "Superman" and copied his uniform, he is not Superman in the end.
The real Superman grew up in rural Kansas. Over two decades of farm life in Kansas and the education from his adoptive parents transformed him from an ordinary child into a gentle yet righteous, strong yet humble Kansas farmer.
For him, his more than ten years of farm life in Kansas was more like a lost and found haven. He was probably already mentally set, and he would almost always just laugh off his adoptive parents' teachings and criticisms.
When this safe haven is suddenly and completely destroyed, one becomes instantly disoriented, like an ostrich with its head buried in the sand suddenly found on a concrete surface, futilely trying to bury its head back in the ground.
Joey now had enough anger and motive to lash out at Raven, accusing her of the very mistake that had caused that terrible day, which she herself had admitted.
But Joey knew it was pointless to do so, so he suppressed all his anger and humbly extended his hand to the raven:
"I sincerely ask you—how can we completely or effectively annihilate the Hell dimension and its creations?"